Monday, March 8, 2010

Congratulations, Kathryn Bigelow!

Roger Ebert, who was at the Oscars, said it best when he tweeted: “I've never seen a less exciting Oscars.” Wow, I realized around 7:00 that I'd stopped taking notes & was much more interested in my cheese enchilada. Safe dresses, boring bits, & the disappearance of our co-hosts, Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin, in the middle of the show, made me yearn for the good old days when Bjork was dressed as a bird & James Franco made his cameo appearance as the stoner from Pineapple Express. Remember that from last year? Hilarious!

But it didn't start that way. The best actor/actress nominees welcomed us (unnecessary, but OK) before Neil Patrick Harris burst upon the stage for the opening number. Huh, was he really the host? Well, who cares; he was entertaining. Then our co-hosts came on to deliver a comedy routine that was actually funny, playful, & smart. I was worried that 2 hosts would be confusing but was proved wrong. Christoph Waltz won Best Supporting Actor, and we were spared the treacherous singing of the Original Song nominees. So I thought we were on our way, but I was wrong. Soooo wrong! We were lectured on the mechanics of film making every 15 minutes. Ben Stiller came out in the blue Avatar costume and stunk up the place—and wouldn't get off the stage. They did a John Hughes film retrospective that just made me feel old. And then they gave us a horror film retrospective which just made the show longer & didn't relate to the type of movies popular in 2009. Then Hollywood reached new levels of self-indulgence by bringing out actors to kiss-ass the Best Actor & Actress nominees before their awards were given. New heights of bullshit! But then....something great happened. Barbra Streisand announced it...Kathryn Bigelow won Best Director which more than made up for the travesty of Sandra Bullock winning Best Actress.  Don't misunderstand me. I like Sandy, but she gave a decent performance whereas both Gabourey & Meryl gave nuanced performances.  Kathryn more than deserved the win over her ex, James Cameron, and seemed genuinely moved to have won. Loved seeing her on the stage holding 2 Oscars.

Many people have been surprised that I'm not that impressed by Avatar—especially since I've been studying web design, flash, graphics, etc. I think it's a pretty film that makes good use of CGI & other updated technology, but after that it falls flat. A great movie has to tell a well-paced, good story with well-defined characters. Great effects are not enough. James Cameron's dialogue was trite & story telling was weak & uneven. At many points I was truly bored. The Hurt Locker was beautifully directed & better acted. Even if you don't think it's an accurate portrayal of Iraq, you won't be disappointed by its human story.

OK, on to the fun stuff: the clothes....

Overall, the dresses were safe (many metallic shimmering looks which I liked), but nothing really wowed me....

Zoe Zaldana looked like she had a caterpillar crawling up her ass. Was that an Avatar special fx? 
Queen Latifah had the perfect dress for her curvy figure. Liked the jeweled shoulder.
Jennifer Lopez, I wanted to like your dress because it had some great elements, but, in the end, I decided it was too much competition for your booty.
Mariah Carey, are you pregnant? Can you shove your boobs in your dress, please? Not looking good, girl.
I actually liked Charlize Theron's dress, although many said it looked like she was wearing her bra outside her dress.
Helen Mirren was age appropriate yet sexy & pretty.
Tina Fey, jungle love is not a good look for you. Though you & Robert Downey Jr. had the best presentation. Did you write it yourself?
Cameron Diaz wore a pretty dress, but it was a little matronly for her.
Sandra Bullock's dress was pretty but looked a little washed out when she was on stage.
Liked Demi Moore's dress. Where'd she come from? Was she in a movie?
Meryl Streep looked pretty good in her white dress. Never know with her!
And yours truly, Ms. Paula Page, was wearing blk, Lululemon yoga pants with an American Apparel, colbalt blue t-shirt. Accessories by Walgreen's (a black hair clip). Glasses by Cole Hahn. A fetching look for my apartment. My plants were dazzled.

Some misc comments...

Tim Goodman, SF Chronicle's TV critic, tweeted the following comment: “[re. a Hurt Locker victory] James Cameron is going to take it out on some hookers, no doubt.”

In Memoriam section forgot Farrah Fawcett (yes, she was in some motion pictures). They also forgot to mention the death of NBC and Jay Leno's creativity (had to get that in there). So sad to see Natasha Richardson.

Alec Baldwin smacks Kathryn Bigelow's ass on stage. Cut the macho crap, Alec!

Both Modern Family & Jimmy Kimmel/Ben Affleck/Jennifer Garner commercials are funnier than the entire broadcast.

Roger Ebert: “Why did Avatar win for Cinematography when it used a green screen & CGI?”

Sheri Shepard & Kathy Ireland should be banned from all pre-show events. God awful!

George Clooney wins the best non-red-carpet moment when he spends time meeting people behind the chain link fence. Gorgeous, charming, talented, sexy. The perfect man.

Yikes, gotta go to bed. Have an 8 am class tomorrow.  Hope you enjoyed my recap!!