Stupidest Men's Products

Stupid is as stupid does. Right, Forrest Gump?  Check out The Huffington Post's list of stupidest men's products.

Click here for list.

Sad thing is I could see my ex-husband with the Potty Putter Toilet Green. And if you ride the bus or subway, I know you can spot some Spray On Hair. But the most hilarious is the Chest Hair Toupee. Wow!

What's your favorite? Please share. Click on the comments section below.

The Unemployed Worker's Soliloquy

If you've ever been layed off or know someone who's been layed off, you know a helping hand from either friends, family, or unemployment is very important. I don't even know what to say to self-employed workers who don't qualify for UI or Cobra. I've heard heartbreaking stories from people while volunteering for Barbara Boxer and attending health care rallies/lectures the past few months.

Friday afternoon I was on my favorite mode of transportation: SF Muni, specifically the #5 bus. I was in the midst of a private conversation with a friend of mine, detailing the phone calls I made to some Republican aides in Washington, after the Senate defeated the Jobs Bill, when a man came up to me and shouted: “You liberals make me sick. Always depending on other people to solve your problems for you...” I won't repeat the entire tirade. You get the gist.

When I relayed my experience to my sister, Jane, she came up with the perfect response:

Yeah. I'm just the mother-fucker who pays taxes for your military, police, firefighters, libraries, public schools, social security, unemployment benefits, medicaid, medicare, infrastructure maintenance, and public transportation.  Are you lame today, or were you just riding public transportation to spy on the liberals?  I know that you fight all your own wars with your own equipment, take care of protecting yourself from crime and fires, that your buy all your own books, have written to the government to tell them you don't need your social security checks - ever, can take complete care of yourself if you lose your job, and when your insurance runs out will just pray to the God of your own understanding to help you - oh wait - that would be asking for help - scratch that, get out there every day to patch up the roads near your house, and drive your own car or walk everywhere you go. Have a nice day.

Amen

ILA...I love Acronyms

OMG, why type all day and get CTS? Which acronyms are your favorites? Do you make up your own? I mean, WTF!

Some I've made up...

BMUS..............beam me up scotty

BSAP................boys should avoid priests

DDR.................downward dog rocks [talking about yoga!]

JDIH................johnny depp is hot

MMMS............muni makes me sick

OMW...............on my way

TBBS................the bay bridge sucks

TBIC.................the boss is coming

WWDDD.........what would don draper do [thanks, Tim Goodman]

Do you use these?
AFAIK..............as far as I know
B4.....................before
BMG.................be my guest
BRB..................be right back
BTW.................by the way
FWIW..............for what it's worth
FYI...................for your information
F2F..................face to face
IIRC.................if i recall correctly
IMHO..............in my honest opinion
IMNSHO.........in my not so humble opinion
IMO.................in my opinion
IOW.................in other words
L8R..................later
LMAO..............laugh my ass off
LOL..................laugh out loud
MOL.................more or less
NBD.................no big deal
OMG................oh my God
OT....................off topic
POV.................point of view
ROTFL............rolling on the floor laughing
SNS..................social networking services
SYS..................see you soon
TBH.................to be honest
WTF................what the fuck
WYSIWYG.....what you see is what you get

Or should we avoid words altogether? As a child, did you ever read William Steig's book, C D B?
C D B. D B S A BZ B.....Translation: See the bee. The bee is a busy bee.

What are some of your own acronyms? Surprise me.

C U L8R!

Oh Where, Oh Where has our Hillary Gone?

Hillary Clinton, our glorious Secretary of State, is rarely headlined in the news. I'm not talking about NPR or BBC news coverage, but our mainstream media. Madeline Albright and Condoleezza Rice were headlined in their day. I didn't have to google them to figure out where they were or what issue they were discussing. Is Obama scared of her? Last week the Huffington Post published the rare Hillary headline that the Feds were going to sue Arizona. Why isn't she headlined more often? Lord, she's only a Senior White House Official.

I've adapted the main verse of a children's song to illustrate my feelings. The original song was about a dog who runs away to explore the world before deciding that home is best. The link below my verse has Disney's version of the song.

Oh Where, Oh Where has our Hillary Gone?

Oh Where, Oh Where can she be?

With her pant suits all packed,

And her schedule intact,

Oh Where, Oh Where can she be?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl2wkM4Y7gw&feature=related

Help! Justin Bieber followed me home last night.

First I thought he was a bean pole with a hat made of hair. Then I got scared. Why are there so many teenage boys on HAIGHT ST, of all places, sporting Justin's ridiculous hair style? Is it a shag on steroids? A perfectly coifed Beatle's do with side-swept bangs blown straight? I'll do you a favor and not include a picture as it might inspire Medusa-like stares. Was Ryan Seacrest far behind? And what is he hiding under those bangs anyway? Miley Cyrus' phone #?  

I know the record industry needs to manufacture new teen idols every other year. But can you make one who doesn't make the older Justin Timberlake look like a pro wrestler? And what's with the rap quotes. “It's like, you know, whateva!” Please, little Bieber, you're from Canada. OK, a sweet teenager who's mentored by Usher isn't the end of the world. Maybe I'm too picky. But I don't get it. I feel like Tom Cruise is planting his alien forces. Or Christopher Walken's behind me whispering, “I've got the fever for Bieber.” All we need now is Donald Trump to get a hold of him. AHHH!

Do you see it too? Am I the only one?

Take a ride on the SF Muni Insane Asylum!

Every time I get on a bus I fear for my sanity. SF Muni owes me therapy.

There's the physical anxiety. What kind of maniacal games are Muni drivers playing? Do they think it's wise to floor the accelerator like they're on Highway 5 to LA? Barely 2 seconds after the doors close, drivers “gun it” causing everyone to fall all over themselves dropping coffee cups, back-packs, and iphones. 15 seconds later, they jam on the breaks causing the same dominoes effect. Hey, driver! Did you forget about the city stop signs, red lights, and pedestrians? Of course not, it's all in the game. My left foot is still sore from yesterday's # 38 bus ride. And Mr. Old Man, my stomach is not a receptacle for your umbrella or cane. And people, Muni is not your sandbox. Stop littering, spitting, farting, snorting, coughing, and re-arranging your crotch.

Then there's the mental anxiety. Why does every drug addict and relative of Pig Pen wait to find me at the bus stop? A little deodorant and mouth wash wouldn't hurt. And why is it normal to wait 2o minutes for a bus just to see 2 of them pull up together? Is staggering bus departures illegal? Do bus driver's have to change shifts on every bus ride I take? Would be fine if they jumped on and off the bus. But, no. Last week on the #5, the 2 drivers decided to have a 5 minute rendezvous. Then the new driver realized he had forgotten something and ran into Starbuck's to get coffee. 10 minutes later we were on our way. And hey, Ms Recovering Alcoholic, I'm not interested in your new found lease on life. Or Mr. Opera Singer, the bus crowd is not interested in being your test audience.

I could go on and on, but would rather hear from you. Use the comment section to relay your stories about SF Muni or Bart. Which line bugs you the most? And I'm not interested in hearing how great Muni is. I know there are some great drivers. But the crazy ones make all the difference.