Can we please give this man an Emmy?

Can we please give this man an Emmy? 

Stephen Colbert, you rock!

Watch his reaction to Donald Trump's huge announcement (click the youtube  link below the picture).





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNMddhuDs1k

Problem is (and I know this is a sweeping generalization), Donald Trump exhibits a lot of the traits I see back East.

• Bad hair
• In your face
• Emits too much air pollution
• Loud
• Did I mention the bad hair?

I love Stephen Colbert!

A powerful article about human rights...

When you have the time, read this powerful article about what's happening to women's rights in this country (really about —human—rights):
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/womens-reproductive-rights_b_1345214.html

Long Island, NY

Long Island, why don't I like you?  

Is it the bad food? 

The horrible stench at the mall 2 minutes from my apt complex? Perhaps I've found Jimmy Hoffa.  

The high cancer rate due to the nuclear reactor?  

Or the rude drivers who cut you off or yell at you for no good reason? 

The trucks that pour toxins into the air? Hooray for CA & its strict EPA regulations. 

The gorgeous strip malls? The Hamptons & other parts of the the coast might be special, but inland is hideous.  I drive to & from CT at night so I don't have to look at the Bronx. I'm spoiled. I miss the drive down the beautiful, spacious CA coast.

Long Island radio stations are obsessed with Pink Floyd & Billy Joel. And Donny Osmond has a night radio spot. Kinchy!

Grocery stores, except Whole Foods, give you way too many plastic bags. Really? 5 bags for 8 items? I thought NY was a little more progressive. My mistake. Ever heard of biodegradable paper bags?

And people really do talk like Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph on that Good Morning Bronx SNL skit. 

Why do people argue over directions here? There isn't only one way to get somewhere. I really can get to Target the way I want to go. 

And speaking of driving and directions...Long Island towns/districts are allowed to name streets whatever they want. This really screws up GPS & Google Maps. Imagine if Geary Blvd was called Geary in downtown SF, Sam's Rd around Van Ness, Gilmore St around Japantown, and then back to Geary near Ocean Beach. I spent the 1st few weeks driving around in circles.

If J Crew ever goes out of business, about 75% of the men at my job would be naked. Why do white, straight men love beige chinos?

I knew I wouldn't like living in the suburbs, but I guess I thought Long Island would be a little more interesting. I've met some nice people. And Manhattan, of course, is exciting in its own way. But I have to say, unless you have a special job opportunity or family obligations, stay in CA, which is more progressive, especially for single women & workers. Just Fuhget about id!

Martin Short Sings To Bin Laden

Thought this Late Night video of Martin Short singing to Osama Bin Laden was pretty funny. Click on the link and scroll down a bit to view it. The singing starts around 1:40.
http://www.hennemusic.com/2011/05/video-martin-short-updates-elton-john.html

The Royal Wedding

Woo Hoo! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge can legally have sex now! I hope they got the George Foreman grill I sent them.

I watched the whole damn thing, live. I'm in SF, so that means 3 am. Didn't mean to. I fell asleep on the couch around 9:45 pm, woke up at 2:15 am, and said to myself: What the hell! 

Now, I'm not British, so I don't get the hat thing. I realize it's a social faux pas not to wear one at this wedding. But why did Princess Beatrice feel the need to wear her IUD on top of her head? Just doesn't make sense to me. I didn't think women in their 20's used them anymore.

And what's up with Tweety Bird, aka Queen Elizabeth? So much yellow. I'm convinced she only owns one outfit that's dyed every night. Camilla looked...actually she looked pretty good. No joke there, sorry.

On to the main event: Catherine. What a great name for a future Queen. The last one, Catherine of Aragon, was married to Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I mean Henry VIII, and was tossed aside for that trollop, Anne Boleyn. Our Catherine is safe, though. William loves her. After all, he kissed her twice on the balcony. Geez, guys, get a castle!

Ahh, the dress. I think it was a wonderful variation of Grace Kelly's dress. Kate was able to show off her figure and pretty neckline without being sexy (God forbid), cover her arms (again, God forbid), look fairly modern, wear her hair down the way Wills likes it, and look like a princess all at the same time.  She even managed to keep her nerves in check. Well done!

In contrast, Diana looked like she was completely overwhelmed in her mounds of wrinkled taffeta—and terrified. Poor thing. She had to sleep with Charles that night. No one should have to experience that.

Let's talk about Pippa. Wow, she looked amazing, despite the excessive self-tanning. Leave the orange skin to Donald Trump, please. This dress was definitely more modern than Kate's. Loved the low scooped neck, the slinky fit, the buttons down the back, and the half-up and half-down hair clipped with flowers. Kate would have looked great in that dress too, but, again, the future Queen can't sashay through Westminster Abbey. 

I think the little bridesmaids wore dresses that were similar to the dresses Diana's little bridesmaids wore. Maybe that was another way to invoke Diana's memory. Either way, they were cute.

Overall, it was a great show. I'm glad I decided to watch it. And I'm also glad, America, that you don't require hats.

Harry, you're on deck! I know you can party!

Dear President Obama and Congress:

I've mismanaged my funds and can't decide on a budget for next year. This means I'm going to have to shut down my checkbook and credit cards. Gosh darn it! I won't be able to pay my taxes on April 15th. You're such a benevolent group. I know you understand my predicament and wish me well. Thanks guys! You're the best.

Hugs and Kisses,

The American People

Elizabeth Taylor

Some Elizabeth Taylor quotes:

“Some of my best leading men have been
dogs and horses.”

“I don't think President Bush is doing anything
at all about Aids. In fact, I don't think he knows
how to spell Aids.”

“I am a very committed wife. And I should be
committed too—for being married so many times.”

“If someone's dumb enough to offer me a million
dollars to make a picture, I'm certainly not dumb
enough to turn it down.”

“When the sun comes up, I have morals again.”

“The problem with people who have no vices is that, generally, you can be pretty sure
they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.”

“I love Richard Burton with every fibre of my soul, but we can't be together.”

“Big girls need big diamonds.”

Gloria Steinem

Did a little reading about Gloria Steinem this morning. Here are a few of her famous quotes:

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

“Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood.”  [still true in 2011]

“I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.” 

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” 

“It is more rewarding to watch money change the world than watch it accumulate.” 

“Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.” 

“Most women's magazines simply try to mold women into bigger and better consumers.” 

“No man can call himself liberal, or radical, or even a conservative advocate of fair play, if his work depends in any way on the unpaid or underpaid labor of women at home, or in the office.”

“Pornography is about dominance. Erotica is about mutuality.” 

“The future depends entirely on what each of us does every day; a movement is only people moving.”

“Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.” 

Women's History Month

It's Women's History Month. Woohoo!! Give the women who are important to you a kiss and hug today. We deserve it.

Here's an interesting missive from Senator Boxer:

Dear Friend:

Each March, Americans celebrate Women’s History Month by remembering and by teaching a new generation about the critical role that women have played in our nation’s history.
Like so many other great ideas, this observance began in California.  Sonoma County established an annual Women’s History Week in 1978 during the week of March 8^th, when International Women’s Day is celebrated worldwide.  The idea quickly caught on across the country and in Congress, where resolutions celebrating Women's History Month have been passed with bipartisan support since 1987.

Women have made great strides throughout American history, from winning universal voting rights to keeping our economy moving during World War II. Women have fought wars for this country, and they have helped to end them.  They have kept our children safe, healthy, and well-educated.  Within my children’s lifetimes, women’s voices have grown louder in the boardroom, in science labs, and in the halls of government.  Within my grandchildren’s lifetimes, I have faith that we will move closer to true equality.
But we have a long way to go.  We are more than half of this country, but we’re just a sixth of the people representing it in Congress.  Women still earn an average of 77 cents for every dollar men make.  Just 15 women run a Fortune 500 company.  And now women’s health is under assault in Congress.

The Republicans’ 2011 budget would end funding for the critical Title X family planning program, which provides millions of breast cancer screenings and STI tests and which helps prevent hundreds of thousands of unwanted pregnancies every year.
Republicans also want to eliminate federal funding for Planned Parenthood.  That means more than 730,000 Californians – men and women – who rely on Planned Parenthood’s services will lose access to quality, affordable health care, for cancer and STI screenings, and for counseling on issues ranging from family planning to dealing with sexual assault - and this budget would decimate all of those services.

Women’s History Month gives us a chance to honor the past achievements of American women.  We can honor them and their legacy by giving every American equal treatment and support under the law, in the workplace, and in the classroom.  We can honor them by ensuring that being female will never be hazardous to anyone’s health.  And we can honor them by building on, not undoing, all of their hard work.  Every woman and girl deserves to leave her mark for the next generation, and it’s up to all of us to give them that chance.

Sincerely,

Barbara Boxer
United States Senator

Jimmy Fallon Impersonates Charlie Sheen

I think you'll get a kick out of this clip showing Charlie Sheen, played by Jimmy Fallon, advertising his new fragrance: Winning.

http://bit.ly/gQb4EH

After you've clicked on the link, scroll half-way down the page, and click on the video.