Thursday, September 4, 2014

Can we talk?

Joan Rivers 

I'm sad. Joan Rivers died today. 

I know many people thought her humor was vulgar, her face was frightening (in her later years), and her fashion critiques were cruel. Whatever.

I thought she was a trailblazing comedienne who always made me laugh. Just last week I spent Tuesday night texting with my buddy, Derek, while watching Fashion Police. 

Joan was a survivor. A hilarious comedienne, who would have been Johnny Carson's replacement if she hadn't pissed him off by getting her own late night show. Many people don't know she was Carson's first permanent guest host. 

She dealt with her husband's suicide, kept up with the times, and literally worked until the day she died. I respected her work ethic and her fortitude. 

Some of her funny lines:
  • I hate housework. You wake up, make the beds, do the dishes, and 6 months later, you have to start all over again.
  • The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
  • My vagina is like Newark. Men know it's there, but they don't want to visit.
  • My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
  • Bo Derek is so dumb, when she was asked what the capital of California is, she said, "C."
  • Regarding breasts, you have knockers, I have doorbells.
  • I was dating a proctologist with a sense of humor. We'd go out for drinks, and he'd go, "Bottoms Up!"
  • I wish I had a twin so I could see what I'd look like without plastic surgery. 
  • At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in 5 different accents.

I'll miss you, Joan. 


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