Take a ride on the SF Muni Insane Asylum!

Every time I get on a bus I fear for my sanity. SF Muni owes me therapy.

There's the physical anxiety. What kind of maniacal games are Muni drivers playing? Do they think it's wise to floor the accelerator like they're on Highway 5 to LA? Barely 2 seconds after the doors close, drivers “gun it” causing everyone to fall all over themselves dropping coffee cups, back-packs, and iphones. 15 seconds later, they jam on the breaks causing the same dominoes effect. Hey, driver! Did you forget about the city stop signs, red lights, and pedestrians? Of course not, it's all in the game. My left foot is still sore from yesterday's # 38 bus ride. And Mr. Old Man, my stomach is not a receptacle for your umbrella or cane. And people, Muni is not your sandbox. Stop littering, spitting, farting, snorting, coughing, and re-arranging your crotch.

Then there's the mental anxiety. Why does every drug addict and relative of Pig Pen wait to find me at the bus stop? A little deodorant and mouth wash wouldn't hurt. And why is it normal to wait 2o minutes for a bus just to see 2 of them pull up together? Is staggering bus departures illegal? Do bus driver's have to change shifts on every bus ride I take? Would be fine if they jumped on and off the bus. But, no. Last week on the #5, the 2 drivers decided to have a 5 minute rendezvous. Then the new driver realized he had forgotten something and ran into Starbuck's to get coffee. 10 minutes later we were on our way. And hey, Ms Recovering Alcoholic, I'm not interested in your new found lease on life. Or Mr. Opera Singer, the bus crowd is not interested in being your test audience.

I could go on and on, but would rather hear from you. Use the comment section to relay your stories about SF Muni or Bart. Which line bugs you the most? And I'm not interested in hearing how great Muni is. I know there are some great drivers. But the crazy ones make all the difference.